to leave or not to leave

that is the question.
I feel good. I love working hard and throwing myself into something.
we're having the wrap party tonight for 'how clean is your house.'
I have 6 days to look for a new film/tv gig or head home to vermont.
I want to finish my novel, which involves necessary space,
but I am also enjoying right where I am, right now.
is leaving 'running away' or 'being responsible?'
what to do, what to do.

Change

It's in the air.
I might stay.
My birthday was full of promises.

there is a lot of creative energy in the air tonight.

i want to remember that my tight-ass tv crew rallied together, sang me happy bday, and sent me home early tonight so it could be special for me. that made this year memorable.

a quarter-of-a-century, here I come.

For a Boy

Not This Time.
(flies. in the blink of an eye.)
Sweet 16: i snuck out of the house to see a boy. blinked like, once.
18: switched colleges for a boy, blinked again and kissed that boy as i turned
Forever 21, blinked for a split second and said, oh shit. what happened to the 'forever' part?
In twenty five minutes I'll be 25.
I'm keeping my eyes wide open and turned inward from here on out.
Happy Birthday. For me!! whoo-hoo!

Cold. Inside and out.
Robitusson, even loaded up with plenty of DM, isn't helping.
Still cold.
maybe leaving will help...wait. Vermont is freezing.
ah well, at least we'll have something in common. which is hard to find these days.
maybe we'll make sweet, frosty love and warm each other up.

reality bites

Mom: 'agh, do you realize that this Hurricane Katrina is going to have ripple effects across America for years to come? grain, oil, disease, lives, Bush...it's the worst thing since the Holocaust! agh...'
Dad: 'hi honey, i know we haven't talked in a month but...can you come to Vermont a little early to babysit the kids while I go visit my latest Latin American girlfriend in Lima, Peru?'
best friend: 'come ON, just get in the pool naked with me. who cares if it's your former boss the screenwriter'...or else let's just go home so i can make out with your roommate.'
former boss: 'i'll dim the lights and won't look, i promise!'
sister: 'i wanna get the fuck out of this place where this stupid old dude invites a ton of sluts so he can pick through them'....'argh! i haven't talked to my boyfriend in 24 hours and I'm not going to see him for another 48. that's why i'm crying bucketfuls of tears and stamping my feet.'
random 'slut': 'Bali? that's in America, right?'
roommate: kissing sounds with my best friend.
couple in my group of friends: 'we got married at burning man!'
guy i'm trying not to date who insists on oblivion: 'i see you setting yourself up with your friends for the same drama you just went through; do you want to live in an ivory tower forever?'...'you looked so beautiful today it hurt my eyes.'
Me: 'hey roommates! how was burning man? Me, I lost my job and the snake and am leaving town. but i baked you a cake. see, it says, 'welcome back!'