"How do you plead?"
"Guilty, with explanation, Your Honor."
"OK, proceed."
"Your Honor, I believe that stop-signs are an established way in our traffic system to regulate traffic, avoid accidents, and give everyone a fair turn. Do you agree?"
"Um, yes."
"Well, the charge I've received of failure to stop at a stop sign is something that would not happen based on my belief in this effective system. See, what happened was I was driving down a hill in slow traffic and arrived at a 3-way stop-sign. I completed my turn, and about 200 meters down the street was pulled over by an officer. I was unaware of my violation, as were the 10 year old twins in the backseat that I was bringing home from school. In fact, we all attested to my having completely stopped, but the officer ignored my assertion and gave me this ticket anyway. That's why I'm here today. Because I know that he was wrong."
"I just have one question," says the judge. "Why did you use the metric system in your description?"
"I'm a track and field athlete, sir."
"OK, then. Charge dismissed, traffic school granted."
The whole thing ended up costing me $40 instead of upwards of $200.