Oh wait God, one more thing?

Bigger Butts Need Longer Needles

By Reuters | 2:59 p.m.

Study shows fatter rear ends are causing many drug injections to miss their mark.

Lord, today's headlines also drive home this too-short point: excessive turkey and pumpkin pie consumption in the form of booty-not-licious fat rolls is yet another problem our degenerating society is faced with.
Oh Lord, please bring on Armageddon, already.
Amen. again.

AMEN

from salon.com:

This Thanksgiving, we took time to give thanks for all of our blessings, from pudding cups to plasma TVs. Mostly, though, we felt a deep sense of gratitude for these vast lands we unceremoniously snatched from the Indians, then zoned for commercial use. We're truly indebted to the good Lord for bestowing upon our ancestors the sense of entitlement needed to rape and pillage until prosperity was theirs.

Today, of course, we must also give thanks for corporate fraud, shady accounting practices, insider trading and the many other blessed ways that those with power and money fleece the powerless and the poor. Each day, let's vow to take pleasure in the simple joys of tax evasion and insurance fraud, to celebrate the widening of the gap between the haves and the have-nots, and to cherish our possessions above all else, while always striving to own more, more, more and still more. Let's also remember to be thankful to the media, for sheltering us from the underfed and the disenfranchised and the unphotogenic, telling us stories, instead, about the hottest gated communities and the best 8-cylinder engines and the latest Tom and Katie baby-bump sighting.

Let's pray that the good Lord will continue to bless us as we slowly destroy the earth in pursuit of needless self-indulgence, filthy excess and a vast array of distracting hand-held digital devices.

Restraint

"I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it."
Mark Twain wrote this in a book titled 'Roughing It.'
It's something to aspire to, excitable blabbermouth that i am...

here it comes...

i'm feeling more and more thankful.
and feeling the urge to wear anything pumpkin-colored.

YIPES

Sam, World's Ugliest Dog, Dies at 14

Sam, the tiny dog whose hairless body and crooked teeth earned him a reputation as the World's Ugliest Dog, has died.

"I don't think there'll ever be another Sam," Susie Lockheed said, adding: "Some people would think that's a good thing."

Lockheed said she initially was terrified of Sam when she agreed to take him in as a rescue dog six years ago on a 48-hour trial basis. Although she fell in love with him, his appearance repulsed her then-boyfriend and prompted the man to break up with her.

Later, however, Sam became a matchmaker by bringing together Lockheed and her current beau, who saw a picture of the two on an online dating site.

She said she's felt a little lost ever since Sam passed away, and is sleeping with Sam's favorite toy - a stuffed bear he picked up and carried home.

Refreshment Recipe

Event: lesbian night in west hollywood.
Drink: Patron tequila shots and Johnny black label on the rocks.
Company: two heartbreaking works of staggering genius; aka good, smart friends i can count on.
Transportation: breakneck speed in the slow lane.

Mix drink and company, fold in event, add pinches of transportation. Let chill for several hours.

Customer Reviews:

"the perfect release mix to make the following morning's 'take-the-boss's-kids-to-school-at sunup' a little more bearable." *****
-Surrogate Soccor Mom

"This fabulous take on a classic brought a real flair to my usual sunday night bla-ness. Will definitely be using this recipe in the future!" *****
-Lonely in Los Angeles

"I don't know what the big deal is. You all obviously have no life and need each other to bolster confidence in your self-perceived genius." -*
-Mainstream Maverick

look it's me!

a poster-child for Scandinavian wholesomeness. front and center of the study-abroad website. circa winter, 2002
PS I almost hit a moose on the way down 5 mins. later

Scandinavian Urban Studies Term experience persuades students to look beyond the trolls, rose paintings, Norwegian wool sweaters and other traditions commonly associated with the region to learn about the depth and reality of modern day Scandinavia!

my sister rules!

that's Emily, blue shirt.

Hanover girls win fourth crown in five years
By KRIS RUSSELL
Union Leader Sports

NASHUA — Call it coincidence. Call it serendipity. Or just call it plain luck.

Hanover coach Hank Tenney won't mind what anybody calls it. He's too busy savoring another championship.

Thanks to newcomer Emily Hough, Tenney and the Marauders won their fourth Class I girls' soccer title in five years yesterday via a 2-0 triumph over Milford at Stellos Stadium.

Hough's completed a sensational tournament campaign by scoring both
Hanover goals. The twin markers gave the junior striker seven in four playoff outings.

Hanover celebrates their Class I girls' soccer championship after yesterday's 2-0 win over Milford at Stellos Stadium in Nashua. (THOMAS ROY/UNION LEADER)

Hough opened the scoring in the fourth minute, taking Rita Ciambra's long pass and firing in a left-footed shot off the shoulder of Spartan goalie Heather Blase. Hough's second was just as impressive. She raced full speed for Martha Rigby's lofted direct kick and deflected it with her head into the Milford net at 61:24.

All this from a player Tenney hadn't met before 2005 started.

Hough's family moved to the Upper Valley area from Connecticut. She matriculated into the Hanover school system well after Tenney's senior dominated 2004 team won the Class I championship.

Tenney was preparing for a rebuilding year. That changed when Hough made her entrance.

Man Kills Buck With Bare Hands in

Bedroom

The Associated Press
Wednesday, November 2, 2005; 1:02 PM

BENTONVILLE, Ark. -- For 40 exhausting minutes, Wayne Goldsberry battled a buck with his bare hands in his daughter's bedroom.

Goldsberry finally subdued the five-point whitetail deer that crashed through a bedroom window at his daughter's home Friday. When it was over, blood splattered the walls and the deer lay dead on the bedroom floor, its neck broken.

Goldsberry was at his daughter's home when he heard glass breaking. He went back to check on the noise and found the deer.

"I was standing about like this peeking around the corner when the deer came out of the bedroom," said Goldsberry. The deer ran down the hall and into the master bedroom _ "jumping back and forth across the bed."

Goldsberry entered the bedroom to confront the deer and, after a brief struggle, emerged to tell his wife to call police. After returning to the bedroom, the fight continued. Goldsberry finally was able to grip the animal and twist its neck, killing it.

Goldsberry, sore from the struggle, dragged the dead animal out of the house.

"He got kicked several times. He was walking bowlegged for a while," Deputy Doug Gay said.

At this time of year, a buck that sees its reflection in a window often charges, believing it is fighting off a rival, Gay said.

Goldsberry intended to have the deer processed for its meat.